Trying to keep the faith..
I am in love with my sons father and I'm single and so is he. Now he has said that he does not see us getting back together anytime soon But we still talk on the phone everyday and every night and we talk about alot more than just needs of our son. So I just need to know do I listen to his words or go with my heart and his actions, and stick around hoping things will get better and we wind up back together as a family or just let it go?
First of all I want to say, SMILE! Life is great and I can tell that you must be a great person with a good heart. Think of your potential and your worth. How GREAT you are and how blessed your son is to have a woman like you as his mom.
Now maybe you haven’t told me everything about this situation but based on what you have told me, it seems like this guy is stringing you along and keeping you as a back pocket option for the future. Back pockets girls are girls that guys string along for whatever purposes needed for their own entertainment or disposal. The guy can know that he has no desire to take them, the girl/s, seriously. But he will keep them in his back pocket for when he wants to be entertained in whatever way. It could be for something like to talk to on the phone when bored or wanting to have his love tank filled, to having a date to call to hang out with or to have sex with because they know the girl will always give in.
Now, back pocket situations aren’t always bad. For an example, say you’re just playing the field (not sexually) and getting to know prospective partners or networks. Keeping potentials on hand is good especially when It is mutually clear what your relationship is. But when deception is involved in order to manipulate or trick a person into sticking with you for your selfish purposes.. that’s not kewl.
Your guy told you that he doesn’t see himself being with you. That was crispy clear. What isn’t clear is what he’s whispering in your ear at times, or demonstrating to you other times, etc. I smell manipulation and playing with your heart strings to keep you as his back pocket girl. If future marriage isn’t in the cards for him as he said, they the only question is, WHAT IS?
This is what I would do, I would back off completely. I would take his original word for what it’s worth and let him experience the reality of his words. If he thinks that he can still get-off on the phone with you, talk mushy mushy, tease you and keep you hanging on then he has no reason to get back with you seriously. He already has you to talk to when he wants, to entertain him when he wants, and he knows that all he has to do is say the word and you’ll always be ready to jump back into his arms in any way.
Let him feel what it is like to not have you checking for him, filling his ego and love tank, etc. Forget about him. Focus on your own great projects and blessings in life. Dream of the man who is really going to cherish you and your son and who will want to boldly declare you as his woman and family for life. I’m sure there are plenty potentials. &; )
Who knows, your son’s father might come trying to win you back later down the road. You might not even want to be bothered by then.
Anyway This is my perspective and I welcome any others.
Trying to keep the faith..
May 04, 2012
Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you were able to break off from your ex. I think you will slowly but surely start to build back into yourself and feel the sexy confidence and assurance that has always been within you.
Apr 21, 2012
by: Trying to keep the faith
Thanks so much for your advice I agree with you and I have started to distance myself so now when he calls I keep the conversations very brief 5-10 minutes max and when do talk I only keep it about our son and nothing more I do love him and I would love for our family to work but I know it takes two to make it work and the thought of him moving on with another does scare me but I refuse to be any mans back pocket girl! So for now I'm just going to focus on me and this precious gift God himself blessed me with and hopefully a good man will come around and treat me and my son they way we should be treated!!!
Xoxoxo Soni your the best!!!
The Greatest Love